It isn’t very often a movie gets this deep under my skin.  Perhaps it’s because the trailer editor did an academy award-winning job editing the trailer into what seemed would be a cohesive, suspenseful, intelligent movie.  It’s apparent the trailer editor had nothing to do with making the actual movie.

 TRUE SUSPENSE

Alfred Hitchcock’s brilliant view on suspense and thrill was to NOT show the audience what was happening.  He trusted the audience enough to know that their imagination was far greater than anything he could show or explain on screen.  And he was right.  If Hitchcock was watching this movie, he would have stood up with a machine gun, shredded the movie screen, the projector and then ultimately himself, just because he couldn’t bear living in a world where a director insults the imagination and intelligence of an audience to this degree.

Movie felt like Tim Allen’s “Santa Clause” film where they show you behind the scenes of how Santa and the North pole works in grueling detail.  But this isn’t a children’s movie.  So unfortunately, like ‘Clause, this film literally explained EVERYTHING about fate, chance and free will (and usually through boring dialogue) to the point that my imagination left and watched Oprah and ate bon-bons because it was very, very bored. 

 CREATE RULES EARLY-ON AND THEN STICK TO THEM

Screenwriter, quit making up the rules for which our characters live in as you go.  The movie kept adding to what the angels can and can’t do, and what Matt Damon can and can’t do whenever it needed to manufacture some contrived drama.  This waters down ANY chance of suspense or drama or chance of me cheering on the hero as he overcomes the odds because I don’t know what the odds are.  

WHAT WE LEARN (IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES)

Through rather lengthy, expository and outright boring dialogue scenes, we learn how “The Chairman” (which we’re not supposed to know is actually God because the screenwriter calls him “the Chairman”), was with human kind from the beginning, then let us have free will and we created the evil Roman Empire, then how he adjusted the rules of freewill and we “immature” humans then caused the dark ages.  Then the chairman and his lynch men aka “Angels”, (but not really angels because the screenwriter doesn’t want to alienate any particular religion) stepped in again, controlling us humans and we then had the beautiful Renaissance era.  Then they handed the reins back to us humans and we created the world wars, the depression, the holocaust, the Cuban missile crisis and probably Conan’s relationship with NBC.

 We also learned angels get their powers from Stileto hats, that they have to twist door handles to the left, that even they are subjected to New York City traffic, that they lose their ability to chase people when it rains, that the angel command center is really a New York City library, that they don’t have the “man power” to change everything and if we get too far off course from God’s plan, that 5-6 storm trooper angels will delete your brain.  But if we humans can outrun the storm trooper angels and just passionately kiss the person we love we might inspire God to change his mind and plan.  But it can’t be just any kiss, it has to be one on the Empire State Building because that’s so original that even God didn’t see it coming. 

I did like Matt and Emily’s performances.  I did like the political campaign montages—the movie nailed those.  Screenwriter wrote an INCREDIBLE speech for Matt Damon’s character about scuffed shoes—how endearing and important authenticity and sincerity are.   I just wish screenwriter would have heeded his own words.

So definitely see The Adjustment Bureau and then, like my wife and I, go to Marshall’s afterward and buy a cheap yoga outfit because then atleast you’ll have a cheap yoga outfit.

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